Oh, it is a big day.
The total eclipse of the sun. I know you have heard a lot of the hype. It can be confusing. Every news outlet has tips, and facts, and this and that. It can all be a little disconcerting. SO. Here is your official user’s guide for the big day.
What you need to know:
The moon will pass in front of the sun. If you look to the sky, wear approved Total Eclipse Glasses. Or, if you are watching The Young & the Restless, wear approved Soap Opera Glasses. Not to be confused with Opera Glasses, which are, in fact, just little binoculars.
Which makes me wonder. Why in the world do people bring little binoculars to Operas? What is it they are looking for? I’ve never been a big Opera fan. So I never bought into the whole scheme.
A scheme at the show. Maybe it is some kind of a Pyramid Scheme. You know, the kind of deal, where you have to sell your first-born in order to get to the pinnacle. I think they should have named it something other than Pyramid Scheme.
I mean, the Pyramids are cool. Mysterious. Sacred, to some. They hold so much history and uncertainty at the same time. Do we really, REALLY, know how they were built. I’ve never seen one up-close and personal, but I am sure if I did… I start singing that song… “Walk like an Egyptian.” Either that… or I would mimic Steve Martin when he would do his “King Tut” routine.
I would laugh and laugh when he pulled that one out. Oh, he is a funny guy. One of my favorite movies was “The Jerk.” I loved Steve Martin in THAT. The part where he is working at the gas station, and the oil cans start exploding (because someone is shooting them) and he runs around saying… “Somebody must HATE these cans…”
It goes on and on. Oil spilling every where like the Exxon Valdez in Prince William Sound, Alaska. I’ve never been to Alaska. It is probably way too cold for me most of the year. But when I was a kid, I tried Baked Alaska. I don’t think I liked it much.
My favorite dessert growing up was German Chocolate Cake with German Chocolate Icing. And with a last name like Kronenberger, it is probably a good thing. Just cake. No ice cream.
The icing was enough. Hence the saying, the “icing on the cake.” They use that phrase to denote special events… that are really, REALLY something. Like…
Wellllll …. …….. like the Eclipse.
So yes. That about covers the all of it. Your Official Guide to the Total Eclipse of the Sun.