I, for one, am glad to be living in Ohio. For a lot of different reasons. But here’s the one that’s heavy on my mind tonight: I would’ve peed right on my paddle board!
It’s the truth. If I had been living in California on the coast of Orange County… I would’ve peed all over my paddle board. You see I love to swim in the ocean. And if I lived on the coast of Orange County in CA, I’d be spending a good bit of time in the ocean.
But a couple of days ago somebody was doing just that. A somebody on a paddle board. And then a helicopter flew over with the Sheriff inside. And he broadcasted, via bull phone: Attention ! There are 15 great white sharks, surrounding your paddle board.
And that is the very moment when I would have peed.
You know. That’s just one of the reasons why I find Ohio so attractive. No Great White Sharks. Very few earthquakes. Really, not too many hurricanes either. Wildfires, and mud slides, are very rare occurrences, if ever. The snow here in our area isn’t so bad, most of the time. The only natural disaster, that we really have to worry about, are tornadoes. Of course…I don’t like them one bit, Aunty Em.
So all in all, our odds are fairly decent in the Ohio Valley. But wait. If that wasn’t enough, we have a boatload of perks, too. When you live in Ohio you can call yourself a Buckeye. Yes, that’s our State Tree and our Nickname. But when you think of the name figuratively, a Buckeye is not a very attractive thing.
Where are you from? Ohio… I am a Buck Eye. And you? I’m from Pennsylvania…. I am a Rabbit Eye. Hello. Kentucky here. I’m a Possum Eye. New Jersey… Skunk Eye. But dang it, I digress.
Back to living in the Buckeye State. We rub elbows, oh yes we do. Natives from our state, include space boys John Glenn, and Neil Armstrong. There’s Bob Hope, the Wright Brothers, Doris Day, Steven Spielberg. Seven Presidents. We have Drew Carey and John Legend. And what the heck.. Phyllis “Awesome” Diller. There are hundreds more. Seriously. We are like the Golden State of Notable Figures.
But wait. There’s more. WE… in Ohio… wake up every day with the glad satisfaction of knowing the pop-top can was invented here, by Ermal Fraze.
And c’mon…. “Hang On Sloopy” is the official state rock song.
We are big. For our britches… we are big. Akron was the first city to use police cars. Cincinnati had the first professional city fire department. It also had the first ambulance service. And of course… Akron is the rubber capital of the world. Burn baby, burn.
And the rest of the states? Squares. Well, rectangles. In the way of the flag. We are the only state with a cute little pennant design. Snap.
Here in Ohio, we keep it simple. We measure distance in minutes. We understand, that on some days, you have to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day. We think that “Down South” means Kentucky. And the four major food groups here… linger around…. beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with those tiny little marshmallows.
You know. I can’t, for the life of me, understand why our population is decreasing here in Ohio.
And…. I WILL reiterate.
We don’t have Great White Sharks. Which means… we don’t go peeing on our paddle boards.
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over again.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. — Albert Schweitzer
The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it. — Richard Bach