Mums the Word

So here is something I did not know.
Queen Elizabeth has a purse and she uses it.

A little disclaimer here.  I have never noticed that QE carries a purse.  That is basically how I am though.  I could not tell you what I had on yesterday, let alone what some else was wearing.  I am oblivious to those details.    However, there are a few exceptions.

If I am standing directly behind someone, and they are wearing a pair of those nude-colored stretch pants resembling skin… the variety making it appear that the person is nakers from the waist down?  I notice that. Like I said.  It has to be pretty extreme.

But back to the Queen Mum.  I have always liked the Queen. She seems like a good sport.  Not that I have ever met her.  I hear Prince Phillip is a real pain in the rear.  But there is something very Mum-ly about the Queen Mum.  Buuuuut…..  Not like a mummy.  That would just be plain old creepy.

And since we brought this up, I had to find out if there are ghosts in the Royal Palaces.  And, according to King Google, there are many haunted spirits rattling their chains among the Royals.  From Buckingham to Windsor and back again.  There have been sightings of Elizabeth I, Henry VIII, Richard II… and more.  I wonder which ghost gets to sit on the throne, or if there is some sort of a power struggle in the nether world.

Oh, I’ve done it again.  Off topic… I have gone.

The purse. Queen Elizabeth II.  She always carries a purse on her left arm.  But it carries more than her powder and tissues.  It is a signal.

Here is the deal. If she switches the purse from the left arm to the right arm, it is a “rescue me” sign.  It means she is bored, or stuck, in some sort of a conversation, or upset,  and she needs “her people” to whisk her away.

There’s more.  If she twists her ring, look out.  That is hyper-alert.  That means she is stuck talking to someone like Napoleon Dynamite, or KellyAnne Conway… and she wants out NOW.  Then her people really rush in and take her away.

I’ve decided I want to be Queen.  As Queen… I need two things.  1. A signal-purse for when things go wrong in social situations.  2. Someone to come in and sweep me away from the situation.

It doesn’t happen very often.  I avoid those social situations as much as humanly possible.  Introvert to the tenth power.  However, there are times when I have to hunker down, and face that gosh-darn music.  Most of the time, I give dancing a try.  But when I do the “Mashed Potato” and… I should have done the “Twist”…. I know my dance-craze has gone so wrong.  Socially inept.

The cold-hard-truth of the Socially Awkward… REVEALED.  That’s me.

Oh… to be the coolest girl at the party.  With a left-arm-purse.



“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.”
― William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night


“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
― Albert Einstein


“If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. For, in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal.

[Commencement Address at American University, June 10 1963]”
― John F. Kennedy