Dear God. Love, Polly

I like to find little facts about things and then imagine how life would go, if that particular fact were not true.

Take for instance the bat. The rats with wings bat, and not the baseball bat. Here is the fact: The leg bones of a bat are so thin that no bat can walk. What if this were not true? What if bats could walk everywhere? Would they? Say, you are sitting that the picnic table, eating a hotdog with both ketchup and mustard on it, but no pickle relish, because they only have sweet pickle relish, and that is a major tastebud conflict. So yes, just mustard, and ketchup, on your dog. And then, along saunters a bat. Just strolling by the table. As it passes, it gives you a little thumbs-up with its capable (but resting) wing. And then it just strolls over to the maple tree, climbs up to the first branch, where it decides to hang and sleep for a little minute. If only their leg bones were just a little thicker, God.

Did you know that ants never sleep? Also, they don’t have lungs. This seems very unfair to me. If it worked the other way, our lives would have been changed significantly. Think of all the hundreds of thousands of children who have ‘owned’ ant farms, when they grew up? Astronomical. And the zoos too! Instead of ant farms, we could have had little Ant Holiday Inns, or better yet, Howard Johnsons. With little Ant Swimming Pools, where they could swim, and dive deep, while holding their tiny breaths. If only they could sleep, and had lungs. God.

And then. My pals. Little Lewis and Good Ol’ Ollie. Did you know that dogs are about as smart as a two or three-year-old child? And if you project out those figures, this means they can understand about 150-200 words. Also other things like signals and hand movements with the same meaning as words. But. What if they could be 16 or 17 or 18 or 19 in human years? You know. That age when young adults know everything about the world, and you really can’t tell them much of anything. And that is right before you send them off to college, and pay an astronomical amount of money for a four-year party. They certainly won’t sit, or stay. But speak. They’ve got a handle on that one.


Well.  To hell with that, on the dog idea, God.

Okay. Some animals are resourceful, and amazing. So, changing things would be a bad idea. Consider the Peacock Mantis Shrimp. That little dude can throw a punch at 50 mph. Its little tiny Shrimp fist accelerates quicker than a .22-caliber bullet. And.  I am guessing, THIS is why we do not see Peacock Mantis Shrimp on any restaurant menus.

But then. God. There are the likes of the Capuchin Monkeys. I’ve seen the videos and I know this to be true. They pee on their hands to wash their feet. This seems like an all-around bad idea, to me. I would recommend a nice bar of monkey soap, on one of your free-days of Creation.

Other bad ideas? Well. A word goes out for the campers and hikers. A Grizzly Bear’s bite can crush a bowling ball. So, if those outdoors people had any hopes of stopping by the lanes for a quick game of ten-pin while they are out hiking, forget about it.

Nature can teach us some things. That is for sure.
Life lessons, really. If we listen. Right, God?

We should. Listen.  Right?

A baby elephant sucks its trunk for comfort.
Otters hold hands so they do not drift apart while floating.
Prairie Dogs kiss one another when they say hello.

We should be so right.


“The more clearly we can focus our attention on the wonders and realities of the universe about us, the less taste we shall have for destruction.”
― Rachel Carson


“The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is boundless.”
― Jean-Jacques Rousseau


“I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it.”
― William Shakespeare