We used to have this little plastic shaker. When I say “we” I am referring to my sibling / parental family. I just remembered this shaker a few minutes ago, right out of the clear blue.
The shaker was a daisy yellow color, and it had a red screw-on top. But, the vessel itself was in the form of a bear, I think. As I remember, he had on a little vest, and his paws were down at his sides. A little yellow-bear shaker, standing straight as a soldier.
Of course, we were an egg-eating family. Every weekday morning, we had fried eggs and toast, and some kind of meat. Mostly bologna. But on Saturdays, we sometimes would get happier breakfasts. Don’t get me wrong. We loved eggs, and would probably “opt” for them over all other things. But Saturdays would bring a little break in the routine. Like pancakes, or waffles, or French toast. And then some mornings, Mom would simply bring out the little shaker bear.
His innards were filled with cinnamon and sugar. She would toast the Wonder Bread, butter it, and away we could shake. Lightly. The crevices of his body were slightly caked brown with the residuals of cinnamon dust. We would take the shaker in hand, and carefully level the grainy ingredients across the face of the toast, easing it down into the melted butter. And it tasted like magic. The bear would be passed from hand to hand, until it went full circle around the table. And then, his little red cap fit back snuggly on his smugly-smiling head. Mom would pick him up, and place him back in the cupboard — the one directly above the stove. Until the next time.
Right now, I have this incredible longing to see him again. It is making feel a little sad.
And. I wonder where he is.
Isn’t this human life incredible at times? The way we live? The things we remember?
And for me, in this moment, that memory will have to be good enough. Because sometimes, that is all life will leave us with.
A little dusting of a memory.
“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.”
― Lucy Maud Montgomery, The Story Girl
“Remember to breathe. It is, after all, the secret of life.”
― Gregory Maguire, A Lion Among Men
“But nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it.”
― Calla Quinn, All the Time