One thing I just keep fighting against…. is the realization that ALL of life is filled with uncertainty. I’ve said it a thousand times before. I’ve meant it too. Everything is uncertain. All of it. There are no crystal balls. No written guarantees. The very next moment ALWAYS holds the unknown. AND. Whenever I feel anxiety….it’s because of uncertainty about the future. We simply can’t delegate what the future will be. Ever.
I am pretty sure none of us like this uncertainty. I am at the front of the line. We have all felt uncertainty… probably quite often. I think some people are more comfortable with it than others, but all in all, no one likes uncertainty.
I also think… as a coping method…. we try to find some sort of “comfort” through distractions. Things we think we know. Some people turn to pleasure food and eating, others are compulsive shoppers. There are the well-known go-tos… like alcohol, drugs, being difficult with other people, or shutting down completely.
Lately I’ve been working on acceptance of this. I try to notice when I am feeling the big-woolies about The Unknown. Whenever I feel any anxiety, or fear… or in times when I have self-doubt or the need for a distraction … I try to understand what is fueling it. Most of the time… it is simply the “not knowing what’s ahead” of me.
Trying to know the unknowable.
Trying to figure out the destination, when it is really all about the journey.
And in that, I have to recognize what it is that I have right in front of me. There is a crazy-good amount of beauty to be noticed in any given moment, IF I can slow down my busy little brain.
It is taking practice. And I’ll tell you…. it isn’t so easy for “Little Miss Wound-Too-Tight.” Sometimes it works, and other times, not so much.
There are moments when I experience true quiet and calm. And other times…. when I am so beside myself…. I could be in Indiana.
I just know I like the way it feels when I find that peace, and tranquility. It feels like magic. And I like it there.
And… as far as for things that are certain. I am pretty certain I am going to bed now.
We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end.
— Blaise Pascal
The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.
— Ursula K. Le Guin
I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.
— Arthur Rubinstein