Super Pepperoni

It was much like any other Friday night. I decided to fix our favorite Friday Night Dinner. So… As I was walking out of the restaurant’s carryout, I noticed a big Spiderman head on the front of the pizza box. Funny, how things strike you. I was all like… “Yeah. Looky Who’s Here. It’s Superhero Night.”

Driving back to the house, dinner in tow, I nearly ran my car right off the road. There. THERE it was for all to see! Parked curbside. Bodaciously, on Maple Street. The dastardly ride of Dr. Guzzalot. There it sat in all its glory. Holy Crap. Holy Souped Up. Holy Fantails. This thing was un-freaking-believable! The technology. Obviously created by a criminal mastermind. I was shaking in my boots. Quivering.

I didn’t know what to do. I pulled over, nearly two blocks away, and doubled back through the neighborhood bushes and shrubs. I was being quite stealthy if I must say so myself. Apparently….. not furtive enough, as a local officer pulled over and began questioning my conduct. He seemed to think it was a bad idea for me to be slouched down in someone’s Viburnum. He told me to move along.

I started walking in the opposite direction, back to my car. Now I faced two adversaries. The threat of Dr. Guzzalot was still present. But I also knew the officer would be back. I had no choice but to get back behind the wheel and leave the scene.

After driving around for 10 minutes, I headed back to get a make on Dr. G’s Vehicle. And when I returned, it was gone. Eerily gone.

This is when the group of people in horror movies say… “Let’s split up.” But since it was only me in the car, I felt the need to stay close by to myself.

So instead, I called the Hotline for Captain Quinoa, and Oatmeal Boy. Unfortunately, I got the Answering Machine.
“Hi. You have reached the voicemail of Captain Quinoa, and Oatmeal Boy. We are either saving the city from certain peril, or have momentarily stepped away from our desks. Leave a message and we will get back with you as soon as possible. Our offices are closed daily, from 12 noon to 1, for lunch. If you are in grave danger, you might want to try calling The Amazing Liberator.” (BEEP)

Great. I left a message and high-tailed it home. Tonight, I sit on pins and needles. I am fairly certain I wasn’t followed, but Dr. Guzzalot has powers beyond reason. He might have seen me… or gotten a take on my plates…

And I haven’t heard a word from Quinoa or Oatmeal.

You know. It is quiet out there. Too quiet.



“Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince


“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
“I don’t much care where –”
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.”
― Herman Melville, Moby-Dick or, The Whale