Reading the Teas

Snapple Fact #195.  Apples are Vegetables.


I am not a fan of Tea. There. I said it.

Shame me if you must, but I don’t like the stuff. I have tried Tea, time, and time, and time again. Yet, at every meeting, my taste buds revolt. I’ve put it in awesome mugs, and iced it down in tall, cool glasses. I’ve tried the fruity, the nutty, the dark, and the green. Tease me with your Teas. I can’t buy in.

I don’t like it hot. I don’t like it cold. I don’t like it in a pot, nine days old.

But Tea is a big thing for a lot of people. Some make it a daily practice. A ritual. Others just like to chug down the cold, sweet stuff, by the gallon. A lot of companies have marketed to this, in so many different ways.

Take Snapple. They sort of became the King of the Bottled Teas. Snapple comes in a bazillion flavors. And they make the bottles look convincingly good. But underneath that cap, lies the same thing. Tea.

Oh, but wait. They put something else underneath their caps to make their product all the more enticing. Snapple Facts. Actually, they are called “Real Facts.”

Most people can’t drink a bottle of Snapple without turning over the cap to see what your “Real Fact” might be. But wouldn’t you know it? In THESE times we are in? There is a problem with those “real” claims on their caps. There are many which are more like Snapple White Lies.

“Real Fact” #70 claims “Caller ID is illegal in California.” Well, that is just wrong. The California Public Utilities Commission’s website confirms it. So I called someone in California. Yep. They confirmed. It WAS me calling them. Debunked.

Another cap says that elephants only sleep for two hours a night. The people at the San Diego Zoo say they actually sleep three to seven hours a night.  Another item, cleared up.

The Snapple Folks say that the average human eats eight spiders in his/her lifetime, in our sleep. We don’t. Spiders are actually pretty darn scared of people. And our movements — including breathing. So they probably won’t saunter into our mouths in the dead of night. The guys in lab coats say it is extremely unlikely that we’ll even swallow one spider in our lives. Snore away in peace, my friends.

And here is another. The average American doesn’t walk 18,000 steps a day. That is Fact #89. We lazy Americans are not even close. Most of us only clock in at about 5,116 steps, according to a recent study. Hi Ho.

Finally, the one that gets me is about my friends, the ducks. It claims that the Duck Quack does not echo. But the quack does echo, just like any other sound in “echoing” situations. Real Facts. By Snapple.

Another example of life’s puzzles our swirling world. You can’t take everything at face value.

There was a time when someone’s word was their word. Oh sure. I know. People have been lying since the beginning of time. The whole Adam, Eve, God debacle. And all.

But back in the day, lies didn’t seem quite as prevalent as they are today. From the corner of our streets, all the way to the Oval Office.


I guess, all we can do, is be aware.
And tell the truth. In all things.

In reality, a lot of the time, we slightly distort the truth in order to “manipulate” people around us. We nudge it this way and that. But being honest is a good thing. Genuinely honest. It creates deeper connections, it gives us cause to feel integrity and respect. Not to mention an incredible peace of mind. It gives us a place in this life, where sincerity, and reality, are our bridges, our openings, our ways to meet with goodness. Our ways to connect to the divinity of the Universe, and the divinity of our being.

But lying as a way of life, I will never understand. It only harms ourselves, and the world around us.

Yet people on our world don’t seem to mind one bit about lying. They do not seem to care what is printed on their personal Snapple Caps.

Even though I don’t care for the flavor of Tea, I like the kind that tells the truth.


Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. — Buddha


Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters. — Albert Einstein


For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth. — Bo Bennett