Please pick up the phone.

Discombobulated is one of my favorite words. For all the reasons.

First, I like the way it hits the ear. It is the perfect sounding word for its meaning. So, then, it’s definition follows.

Discombobulate. It means disconcert or confusion. To disturb the composure. It is to be disheveled.

When I hear the word, I see a little cartoon stick-person-character swimming along, just fine. Then all of a sudden, unbeknownst to the rest of the world, something happens to that little character, and they begin to flail, right there in their little cartoon water. Finally, after some thrashing about, they give way and go under, bobbing just a couple of times, until they finally disappear. Hence, the “bob” in discombobulate.

When you can “see” the word, that has to be what it really means.

There are an incredible array of words in our English language that are this descriptive. But this is one of the tops.

Flummoxed is another. Bewildered. Perplexed. Completely baffled and ultimately puzzled.

Most mornings, when I roll over in the bed, and place my feet on the floor, I am completely flummoxed by everything appearing before my waking eyes. Those, I call, my Bemused Days. I say, “Confound IT” several times on those days. Saying this out loud is much better than my mouth, hanging wide open. Agape. With no words coming out at all. It is on those days that the sliced bread falls to the ground, butter side down. Every time.

Although I’ve never actually used the next one out in public, one of these days I will. Skullduggery. It means dishonesty. And heaven knows we have a lot of that going on right now. We can’t even listen to the President of the United States without hearing him lie about at least one thing. But that discussion will be for another day.

There is a lot of Skullduggery on Social Media as well. Terrible amounts. And shame on them. But “Lying” seems to fit better. Or just “Dishonesty.” Skullduggery seems to remind me of the Hardy Boys, with their flashlights, in some coastal cave looking for the skeletal remains of pirates long gone.

And finally, I don’t ever want to find myself in prison or jail. Not ever. And I try very hard to abide by the law of the land to ensure it doesn’t happen. Albeit, most days, I drive like a bat out of hell. I know they set speed limits for a very good reason. It is just that I have not discovered what these reasons may be. At any rate. The brig. The slammer. The joint. The big house. I don’t want to be there.

However, if it happens, I will tell people, most assuredly, that I am in the Hoosegow. It seems more pleasant, or potentially festive. Like a barn dance, or a Hoe Down. A Hoosegow.

And if I call you on that day, please pick up.
I may be in need of financial rescue, and I only get one call.

If you don’t pick up, I will be in a state of flummoxed discombobulation.


“We are not confused, it’s just the conflict between what we say and what we do.”
― Muhammad Zaki


“When you don’t know where to start,
just go to a place you miss so much.”
― Toba Beta, Betelgeuse Incident


“I’ve never been lost, but I was mighty turned around for three days once.”
― Daniel Boone