Me vs. Me

I start each day in a meeting, with a little group of would-be chickens. Poached.

It is one of my biggest conundrums. A hypocrisy, if you will. I often write about my love for animals. How I value their lives, and feelings, their intelligence. Many times they have shown me kindness. Yet, I eat them.

Like Pigs. I’ve been told by people who know, that pigs are very intelligent. When they’re not squealing… and they certainly can…. it appears that they are talking. Pigs communicate constantly with one another. I have learned that pigs have more than 20 different vocalizations — everything from chatting it up with a mate, or to saying things ‘I’m hungry!” Pig Talk.

But I eat them. Mostly in the form of ham, though. That is about the only kind of pig I enjoy. Not the pork chop. No way. Not really sausage or bacon either. Regardless of my postering, pigs are not only smart, they are incredibly social animals. (Which is more than I can say for myself.) Oh yes. And. When they are kept in a group, they will snuggle close to one another. Pigs in a blanket. I know. But seriously. They prefer to sleep nose-to-nose. And there have been studies which have shown that pigs dream. Just like you and me.

Cows. I eat them too. And I cannot leave out fish. That about covers my personal animal consumption. I do not see me changing this. When I go without meat, I really start to miss it. Physically. I don’t seem to get enough protein from other sources. Another lame excuse.

Back to chickens. They seem to really care about their eggs and potential babies. A hen can lay around 300 eggs a year. And if she has one in the nest, she turns it about 50 times a day. Scrambled, I suppose.

Apparently, the mother hen even talks to her baby chicks while they are still in the egg. If she is allowed to keep them. And, once they are born… if the baby chicken doesn’t live up to the mother’s expectations? I guess you could say he wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.

Sometimes they lack in character though. Like the Spy Pig. He wrote in invisible oink.

Or the chicken who crossed the road twice. A double-crosser.

How about the fish, who got out of jail when he posted bail. He was off the hook.

Hey. Do you know why Bulls wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don’t work.

Okay, okay. Diversion tactics won’t work here, like they do in the White House.

Plain and simple. I love animals. But I eat them.
I’m a hypocrite. Guilty as charged.



“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”
― Noël Coward, Blithe Spirit


“Do you really believe … that everything historians tell us about men – or about women – is actually true? You ought to consider the fact that these histories have been written by men, who never tell the truth except by accident.”
― Moderata Fonte


“I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.”
― Abraham Lincoln