Lick Ten Who.

Sure. They are over. But do we miss them? The Winter Olympics of 2018. I just wasn’t interested this time around. For some reason, it seemed to be a “less of a deal” for me. Unlike when Mark Spitz won seven gold medals in the Summer of 1972. Or the Miracle on Ice in 1980.

In years past, the Olympics were the grandest of games. This time around, it felt like more of an afterthought.

Please don’t mistake my lack of interest for my respect. I think the athletes are amazing. Incredible. Gifted and determined to the core. Right now, I am standing up and clapping for all of them. A big congratulations for their merits and efforts.

But here is the truth. Once I found out that Liechtenstein didn’t really have a fighting chance in the big picture, I quit watching. Yeah. I always pull for Liechtenstein. Who doesn’t love the little world of Liechtenstein?

I mean, Liechtenstein has one of the world’s lowest crime rates. There hasn’t been a murder there since 1997. And there really aren’t very many people in their prisons. At all.

There is nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. They are landlocked. Actually. They are double-landlocked. Both of the countries that border Liechtenstein—Austria to the north and east and Switzerland to the south and west—are themselves landlocked. The only other country, double-whammied like this, is Uzbekistan. (Heck. I was rooting for them too.)

Besides all of that, Liechtenstinians (?) are ALL busy getting ready for their annual National Holiday. On Liechtenstein’s big, big, day, His Serene Highness Prince Hans-Adam II (their Grand Poo-Bah) invites all the residents of their tiny domain, to have a beer in the garden of Vaduz Castle. Bottoms Up with the Royals. Yeah, baby.

The other thing they are busy with? Chompers. Yes. They are the world’s biggest manufacturer of false teeth. There is a company called Ivoclar Vivadent in the town of Schaan. They are the big dogs in false teeth manufacturing. They crank out 60 million sets of teeth, every year. Chomper Champions.

And, it is quiet in Liechtenstein. Very quiet. They publish a little pamphlet directed toward new immigrants. They suggest that mowing lawns or holding “noisy festivities” during the country’s official lunch break (noon to 1:30 p.m) are strongly advised against. This also holds true after 10 p.m.  A new meaning for the Light Lunch?

So as you can see, with all of this going on, who can put together a world class Olympic Team? They gave it a wholesome try. There were three of them. Two guys, and a gal. Marco. Martin. And Tina. Tina won a bronze in Alpine Skiing. Liechtenstein’s only medal in this year’s Olympics. Ta Da.

Maybe in four years, I will be on the Curling Team for the USA. Or, I could move to Liechtenstein, and start my own.



“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde


“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West


“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes