It is those two hand that cannot clap.

We are jerking around with the Universe.

Yes, we did it again. Daylight Savings Time, or lack there of, depending. We moved our clocks back one hour — that is — if you were paying attention.

Here’s the thing. Unless you have successfully built and enabled a Time Machine, time does not fall backward, and it certainly doesn’t spring ahead. It just goes. Round and round it goes.

We are measuring time by our planet’s speed around the sun, and also how fast we spin. As such, there is no backing up, or jumping ahead. Unless, of course, you’ve figured out relativity, dark matter, and those pesky worm holes of quantum physics. (Editor’s note: Pack lightly)

I ask this question twice a year. Why do we keep playing with the clock? You are probably tired of hearing it here too. It is simply my feeling we should do away with this nonsense, and I hope if it comes to a vote, people will support its removal. My platform, along with many others, is to say good riddance. We started when we were in the throws of the first World War. I see no sense in it now.

Do you think I feel strongly on the matter? Oh, but time is important to many of us.

The other day, I saw this guy with a big clock on his belt.
It was such a waist of time.

It affects everyone. Even my brother who lives in Seattle.
Do you know what Daylight Savings Time means to the people there?
An extra hour of rain.

All right. Enough of the joking around. Because, it is really making things hard on people. I passed the Courthouse, and a guy was way up high on top of the clock there. I yelled to him. “Buddy. What gives?” He said. “I just want to be on time.”

Okay, truly. I’m stopping now. All of this is — in reality — affecting us spiritually. Why, I just read this story from Heaven.

A guy from Camden here, died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

Saint Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

“Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life.”

“Where’s Trump’s clock?” the guy asked. “Trump’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

I hope your day is so good, you are blown away.


Every second is of infinite value. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. — Lao Tzu


The years teach much which the days never know. — Ralph Waldo Emerson