Flying High

In a world of “Breaking News” Events and a constant flow of information, it becomes easy to miss some key items. Those things that you most certainly “need to know” today.

So, I thought I would share a few with you, to lessen the burden. Or add to it. Depending.

Okay. The first.

Dang it. Spiders can fly. Well, not really “fly” but they can travel for several miles, in the air on wind currents. Like swinging little Spidermans, with their silk and all. But in addition to that, they sort of “catch” wind breezes, and do what is called “ballooning.” Yes. “Ballooning,” which lets spiders span great distances — even oceans — by riding the wind like tiny paragliders.

There. You heard it hear, from me. And you can thank me the next time a spider smack-dabs you squarely on the cheek. I don’t mind spiders. In fact, I think they are very cool. But they bite me. Hard. And when they do, I have abnormally bad reactions. So I like to be on guard. This flying thing adds a whole new dimension.

Okay. The second, speaking of flying.

Dang it. They are sending an Artificial Intelligence Robot into Space. Now I have warned them about this repeatedly. But my admonishments seem to bounce right off them like raindrops on Turtle Wax.

This thing is a large, round, plastic robot head. And, it is part of SpaceX’s latest supply delivery to the International Space Station. Yes. A big robot head. I’m getting creeped out already.

It is a German robot — named Cimon, pronounced Simon. The Big Robot Head’s name — Cimon — is an acronym: it stands for Crew Interactive Mobile Companion. Or really: Creepy Intelligent Monster Creature. Its AI brain is courtesy of IBM.

To make matters worse, this “head-robot” is self-propelling. He will float at the astronaut’s side and help, when asked, with research procedures.” But they better watch him all the time. The next thing we know, the Space Station will be leaving the dock and heading to Uranus. Or somewhere with a better name. (Who in the world named that Planet, anyhow? NOT AI, I’ll tell you.)

And now, the third, since we’ve been up in the air.

Dang it. They dim the lights on airplanes, during take-off and landing, for catastrophic precautions. This bothers me for some reason. I thought it was a mood thing. But no. It is done so passengers’ eyes can adjust to the dark. And that is just in case there’s an emergency that shuts off the lights. They think this will help people from running around blind in sheer chaos. To me, this is a non-issue. If a plane is hurling toward the ground at extreme velocity, I am guessing people’s eyes won’t be adjusting to much of anything. At all. Except for maybe their St. Christopher metals — the St. Christopher who doesn’t have a Feast Day anymore.

So that’s it.
Flying Spiders.
A Demonic Robot Head that will take over the Galaxy.
Dim Lighting during Airplane Crashes.

Three headlines you probably missed, but I am happy to bring them to you here. Sort of my good little deed for the day, or something.

Or something.


Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance. — Plato


Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t. — Bill Nye


You can lead a human to knowledge, but you can’t make him think. — Unknown