They call it the news, because it is. I can’t get around it today.
The latest news reports tell us that Millennials are killing this and that. Yes, those Millennials. The generation of people born between 1980 and 2000. They are commonly portrayed as being stubborn, lazy, entitled, whiny. But not only that, they are wiping out entire brand names and industry.
Hey Millennials. To quote the great movie, The Big Lebowski: “You’re doing it wrong.” It seems they are NOT buying houses, cars, or life insurance. No diamonds, or motorcycles. They refuse to use napkins, bar soap and fabric softener. They won’t eat boxed cereal, or McDonald’s. And now, the latest victim? American Cheese. They won’t touch it.
American Cheese. I mean, where in the heck would the world be without American Cheese? The Backyard Cookout. Grilled Cheese Wholesomeness. Scrambled Eggs, but only when Velveeta is MIA. The world is spinning in the wrong direction. That is the problem.
Why. Just a couple of days ago, a woman attempting to fly from Orlando to Cleveland was kicked off her Frontier Airlines flight. The reason? She brought her “emotional support squirrel” on board. Personally, I like squirrels. A lot. And if it gave her joy, I say, why not? I mean, the squirrel’s name is Daisy. How could that possibly be bad? But, while people are allowed to bring their support animals with them on Frontier Airlines Flights, they are not permitted to bring rodents on board. Minor detail. Squirrels are rodents. What I don’t get, is why all the passengers had to deplane? They were all standing there in the waiting area, when the woman was escorted off in her wheelchair. They all cheered and sneered. Somehow, it seemed mean to me. I can’t imagine how the squirrel felt. Especially if there were service dogs on the plane.
But. Do you really want to talk about NUTS?
Let’s get on the Magic Bus to Washington D.C.
First, our esteemed President invited Kanye West to the White House for a World Conversation. Kanye said a lot of things. None of them terribly bright. But he had on a nice baseball cap, and he bobbled his head a lot. Go on over to Google a little later and watch. While I consider myself a writer, I just can’t come up with appropriate words. Trump seemed delighted.
And then. There are more nuts. In the way of Melania Trump. You know, I used to feel a little sorry for her. But now she has claimed that she’s “the most bullied person in the world.” She has been around promoting her “Be Best” campaign. It is supposedly all about raising awareness about online bullying. She offered no details describing her bullied life. But in the next breath, she talked about people in Trump’s cabinet and staff being backstabbers. Untrustworthy. I smell a rodent.
I think she and Kanye were going to meet up for lunch a little later with the President. I think they were having a huge feast of Bologna Sandwiches, if you know what I mean. And Hard Cheese, baby. Hard Cheese. A little Wine with that, perhaps? Are they Millennials?
Nonetheless. I’d rather take my daily dose of nuts with Daisy the squirrel.
“Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
“Some are born mad, some achieve madness, and some have madness thrust upon ’em.”
― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls
“Sometimes things are just what they seem to be and that’s all there is to it.”
― Charles Bukowski