A few days ago, I was driving down Wayne Trace Road. I saw an animal had been hit in the opposing lane. As I approached, I discerned it was a skunk. At that point, I thought to myself, “I am certainly glad I am not a skunk in this life.”
Yeah, counting my blessings, and all. But as animals go, nobody… and I mean nobody…. really likes a skunk. Unless of course, you are Pepe Le Pew or another skunk. So it goes.
Fast forward to today, and there I am driving down Wayne Trace Road again. This time, I see two turkey vultures, or buzzards, or whatever you like to call them.Yes, there they were. Feasting on that three-day-old-dead-skunk. To which I thought… “Holy Heck. I didn’t want to be the skunk. I am REALLY glad I am not a buzzard eating that dead skunk.”
Well, that got the ball rolling. As my brain started churning, I decided there were several animals I would rather not be.
Aardvark comes to mind immediately. Snorting ants all day would not be a source of wild enjoyment for me. And, my nose is already larger than life. The aardvark takes it to the next level.
Also, I would rather not be a possum. Just because.
Pandas eat a lot of bamboos. So I am not good with the panda thing. When I go out for Chinese food, I avoid the bamboo shoots in whatever dish I am eating. I doubt that I would enjoy the actual bamboo.
Not a horse. Hay does not appeal to me.
Lions, tigers, bears. Oh, my. Too carnivore for me. I love meat. Don’t get me wrong. I just can’t run down my own zebras and antelope in the African savannah.
I think I could be a blue whale. They eat krill. And I think krill probably taste a lot like shrimp. In fact, any fish-eating-animal would be right up my alley. I love sushi. Any day of the week.
Rabbits would be my go to. I think I would enjoy being a bunny…. and not the Hugh Hefner type. Let’s stop there for a moment, to clarify. I think I am more likely to be a rabbit, that a Playgirl Bunny. I mean… look at me … would you? Seriously, Folks. Okay. Back to it. If I were a bunny, I would most certainly find someone’s garden and eat every last bit of their cabbage, cauliflower, and carrots. In that order.
And, as much as I love dogs, I do not think I would want to be one. Dogs eat just about anything, including the products of their own bodily functions. I’ve seen them make their own food too many times. That is not the foodstuff of choice.
Mostly, I am glad to be a human.
Even though I sometimes fail miserably at humanness, it is my being of choice.
If you would not be an animal, what kind of animal would you not be?
With that in mind….. Let’s do lunch, shall we?
“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
― Mark Twain
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck