Bologna. Fried Right.

Well. Make up my mind. This is the third piece I’ve written today. Like I said, “Make up my Mind.”  So no matter what comes out this time, here is your “Egg-Salad Sandwich, Mister.”

The first two pieces were about things that are very close to my heart. But let’s face it. This isn’t the Confession Booth, or the Reality Cam. This is my goofy old blog. And, depending on the day, there may not be anyone reading it, or there could be many.

So. Those things I keep in my left shirt pocket, are just going to stay there for now. And, I changed my mind about the Egg Salad.
Instead, here is your Bologna.

Bologna, fried to a crisp. Yes. Some “facts” that we might think are true, but aren’t.

• Putting salt in water makes it boil more quickly.
Now, this one seems right to me, but the experts say no. In fact they say, it could make it take longer. But I sure like salty water.

• Putting oil in with pasta keeps it from sticking.
Nope on this too. The oil just makes it oily. Stirring keeps it from sticking.

• A penny dropped from a tall building can kill you.
Well, the terminal velocity for that penny is around 30 to 40 mph. It isn’t enough to kill someone, but it sure would hurt. However, the game might change, depending on the “size” of the penny.

• There were Three Wise Men. Again. False.
I am told that nowhere in the Bible is the reference to “three.” Wise Men, yes. Wiseguys. Lots and lots of them. It could have been three, but we’ll never know.

• Humans and Dinosaurs were on the earth together.
Back there in those prehistoric times. No, no, no. We humans missed the Dinosaurs by about 64 million years. Don’t believe everything you see on the Flintstones.

• Humans have only 5 Senses.
According to most scientists, we have 21, including balance, temperature, pain, and more. I think personally, I have 23, if you count my uncanny ability to know expiration dates on canned goods.

• You shouldn’t touch baby birds. The mother will smell your scent and abandon them.
Most birds really don’t smell. A few have developed olfactory nerves which help them located food. So, go ahead. Touch the bird. Just don’t flip the bird.

• Goldfish only remember for 3 seconds.
Well, Goldfish aren’t all that smart on the bigger scale of things, but they retain memories for 3 months. How this is checked, and calibrated, I will never know. I guess through questionnaires.

• Bulls hate the color red.
Not so much. They are color blind. They simple get pissed off when someone is waving a cape in their face, and thrusting spears and knives at them.

• The Bible, again. Adam and Eve ate an apple.
Not true. But how anyone would know, is beyond me. Yet, in Genesis, it simply says “forbidden fruit” — so I am thinking Huckleberries. I can see the two of them picking Huckleberries right off the burning bush, and fixing ice cream sundaes. But not on Sunday.

• We only use 10% of our brains.
Again, an inaccuracy. The portion of our brains that we use is task specific. But we access all the regions of our brain most every day. But a sidebar here. I’ve met people who seem to use less than 10% of their brains. And pretty unsuccessfully.

And, on that note, that’s a wrap. A short list of facts gone bad.
Helping to right the wrong.
Fix the leak.
Heal the limp.

Bologna turned Truth, once again.


“The world, we are told, was made especially for man — a presumption not supported by all the facts.”
― John Muir, A Thousand-Mile Walk to the Gulf


“Sometimes, some lies that spoken with high confidence
could be more receptive than facts that spoken with doubt.”
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity


“Facts are facts and will not disappear on account of your likes.”
― Jawaharlal Nehru