Big Whoop

This morning, hungrily, I reached for a box of oatmeal from the pantry shelf. I thought to myself, as I admired the box, “This HAS to be the best oatmeal in the world.”

During my incredibly scrumptious breakfast, a few sometimes later… I checked my weather app on my phone. It is called Carrot. I absolutely love Carrot. There are occasions when I check the weather four or five times, just to hear what my digital-forecasting-friend is going to say. At that point, I thought to myself… “THIS has got to be the best app in the whole entire world.”

Now it may seem to you that I do a great deal of thinking to myself. And you may be right… because moments later… it happened… AGAIN.

I thought to myself… “Dag nabbit. Oprah has one. Why shouldn’t I?” The answer was apparent. There was no reason why I should not. So here it is.

Polly’s FAVORITE THINGS List. I won’t wait for Christmas to release mine, like old Harpo does. No way. No how. My list is coming out today, and here we go.

You’ve seen the first two, but I will reiterate.

  1. Carrot. This is the mother of all weather apps. Probably the best app ever. She has me laughing out loud. Especially when I poke her ocular sensor. Oh. You will know it when it happens. Besides being witty, and clever, she gives a great weather forecast. She has been just as wrong as everyone else. But she does it with such style. As a bonus… you can uncover secret weather locations. Which brings me great joy. Last week, I found out the conditions at Neverland Ranch. Imagine my surprise.

  2. Silver Palette Oatmeal. It may sound pretentious but it is not. It is nutty good. Twice-roasted, or double-toasted, or something like that. Honestly, this is a great box of oats. Of course, I cook it in combination with my favorite steel cut oats, which I will feature at another time. Too much oatmeal on my first-favorite-things-list is a certain formula for disaster. Back to the Silver Palette.   If all of that wasn’t convincing enough… there is an adorable picture of Paddington the Bear on the front. Sure, I know it is a cheap advertising tactic. But it worked pretty well on me.

  3. Ocean Spray Cran-Cherry Juice. I have tried all the Cran-Mystery-Fruit combinations. From Mango to Grape to Pineapple. Cran-Cherry is my go-to. It takes me right back to when I was five years old, and we used to sit on our front porch, in ratty old lawn chairs, and eat pop sickles. Red and orange were my favorites. Until one day, a squirrel came up on the porch and accosted my orange pop sickle. From that day forward, I stuck with red. If I happened to get green or purple, I would trade off with one of my sisters, if they were game. But that is too much information. The Cran-Cherry is my drinkable feast.

  4. Cabbage. I can’t say enough about this vegetable. Except that I love it in every way. And I consume a boat load of cabbage. I just like it steamed. With salt and pepper. All day long, I can eat the lovely cabbage. I can only think that it may have something to do with my dislike of The Cabbage Patch Kids. Perhaps it was provoked by the little look of smugness on their perfect pink faces. With dimples.  Or it could have been their names…. the likes of ….Dasha Carly or Edwina Lacey. Candace Savannah or Valda Pamela. Again, I digress. Cabbage is good. Minus the kids.

  5. Black coffee. It doesn’t so much matter the type, as long as it is unflavored, unsweeted, unmilked. Just hot black coffee. First thing in the morning. And then some. Black. As Pitch.

Okay… friends of mine. I don’t want to cause some stupendous rush on the market, or cause wide-spread outages in stores. With that in mind, I will limit the first list to five items.

But please, take it slow. Don’t try this at home. Wait… YES, YES…. DO try this at home. That is kind of the point. But as I mentioned, use good judgment, and don’t try them all at once. The amount of overwhelming joy may cause light-headed dizziness, and general woozy-woos. Do not use in combination with alcohol. If symptoms persist, please call your doctor right away.

Hold the phone, will ya’? I’m crossing over my favorites list into my advice on prescription medications.

It comes with the territory when you are a writer of such things. I think I need a parachute, or a floatation device at this point. The price of walking anywhere with a pen in hand …

Next List…. Next Time…. brown paper packages.. tied up with strings. Kittens.  Whiskers.  See you then.



“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” 
― Elbert Hubbard


“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” 
― Oscar Wilde


“Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.” 
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars