As you know, most of the time, here in my little “writing world,” I feel the need to share the highlights of my day.
Today should be know different. Albeit, I had a Colonoscopy today. Which is all the more reason to share the experience.
So, if you check out now, I will completely understand….. …..
Okay, you are still here. Well, if you have had one, I am sure you can relate. But if you haven’t had one, and you are over 50 years old, call your doctor on Monday and get one scheduled. Seriously.
You hear all the “War Stories” about having a Colonoscopy. How terrible it was, and yackity, yackity, yak. I’m here to tell you, it is a pain in the butt. No pun intended. It is NOT very much fun. On the other hand, it isn’t all that bad.
Thursday, the “Prep Day” was a little long. I think the hardest part for me was the lack of food. I was allowed to have clear fluids, and yogurt. But I eat a whole big bunch of food everyday. A lot. So I missed it. But it is only for one day. So what I did, in all seriousness, was to say good prayers for all the people who face hunger every day, and I spent time thinking about the difficulty of their lives. It made it easier for me to be a little bit on the hungry side for 24 hours.
Of course, “clearing house” can be a little interesting too. Terrible beyond words? No. Inconvenient, yes. But in the greater scheme of things, not nearly as difficult as what people with chronic bowel problems experience on a daily basis.
The Colonoscopy itself, is like going to the hospital (Reid Memorial in my case)…. meeting some really nice nurses who take great care of you… and then falling to sleep. And waking back up. And going home. Sort of like getting sprinkled with Faerie Dust.
Technically, it is a test that allows your doctor to look at the inner lining of your large intestine (rectum and colon). The instrument of choice for the said doctor… is a deal called a colonoscope. It is a thin, flexible tube. BUT…the tube is kind of long…. about 72 inches. Now, on a good day, I am only 67 inches tall…. so imagine MY surprise. But I guess it is all about the long and winding road.
Then, there is a tiny little video camera on the thing. Like… a Go-Pro for the bowels. So, just like magic, you get to see photos of your inner-self. You got it. Give us a big smile … you are on Candid Camera.
And that’s the deal. Mostly, I have been a little wonky all day. Demerol does me that way. I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve ever had it. Hopefully, I won’t ever need it again.
So, if you haven’t all ready, go get in line for your colonoscopy. The slight disturbance is WAY better than suffering from Colon Cancer, or worse… dying from it. And I need all the readers I can get.
Besides that.. when you get back to eating normal… everything tastes 1,000 times better than it ever has in your whole life. Like Magic.
So.. the moral of the story is… life truly is filled with magic. Even in the midst of a colonoscopy.
A healthy outside starts from the inside. — Robert Urich
Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. — Hippocrates