As we all know. Today was good old Ground Hog Day. Why do we do this people? It is pointless, really. It tells us nothing. But here are the results, in case you missed it, and have even the slightest interest in knowing.
I mean, every February, we pluck a poor Marmot out of the ground, hold him high above a top-hat-wearing crowd, and hope he does not see his shadow.
The most well-known forecaster…. Punxsutawney Phil…. failed to see his shadow, according to his handlers who declared this year we’d have an early spring.
A few others groundhogs from around the country… weighed in as well. AND. Here what they predicted:
Milltown Mel (New Jersey): Six more weeks of winter
Staten Island Chuck (New York): Early spring
Buckeye Chuck (Ohio): Six more weeks of winter
General Beauregard Lee (Georgia): Early spring
Malverne Mel (New York): Early spring
Chattanooga Chuck (Tennessee): Early spring
Dunkirk Dave (Pennsylvania): Six more weeks of winter
Holtsville Hal (New York): Early spring
And there you have it. A Groundhog, does or does not see his shadow. And from that great source of information, a chubby rodent is able to predict our future.
But what is happening here really?
I mean….Groundhogs, also knowns as Woodchucks, are a North American marmot with a heavy body and short legs. The better use for a woodchuck is finding out just how much wood a wood chuck could chuck, if a wood chuck, could chuck wood.
With or without his shadow. No matter. I guess you should bundle up, or not. Hard to tell, really.
But when civilizations 500 years from now, unearth the remnants of our Groundhog Ceremony, they sure are going to wonder about the intelligence levels of our time. (They’ll think the same thing when they find some of the candidates election posters as well….)