Who’s a Big Zero?

Here’s what I need to know tonight. Whoever came up with the dress size 0? When did that happen? I mean is anyone really ever a zero? I am no fashion maven, let’s face it. The extent of my wardrobe consists of Levi’s jeans, L.L.Bean shorts, and… various sweatshirts and T-shirts. Asics Running Shoes.  For the most dang part.


But I like it that way.

To continue on with my body type concerning this notion of the zero.  Now, I guess I am not considered a big girl. By most social standards.  Except in the land of Lilliputians .

However. I am very big boned.  That is the fact.   I was blessed with a bunch of big bones.   Big wide hips. Big hands, big feet ,big knee joints….. big cartilage in my nose.  You name it.  But I’m thankful for it.


But, let’s get back to the dress sizes. No matter what I put on… I’m at least an 8. Sometimes a 10. I need that extra material just to get over these hips. I can’t imagine zero. That would have to go the other way?   Wouldn’t it?

Let me explain the math and science of it.  Zero is an arithmetic symbol. It denotes the absence of magnitude, or substance, or quantity. So how can someone be a dress size 0?

That’s the absence of everything. You would have to not be there at all. Like the mystery being?   Oh.  Now there is a notion.  So if are classified as a size 0… does that mean you’re the Invisible Man by twilight?  Lurking about? Scaring people? Going bump in the night? These are the things I need to know.

I can tell you from the moment I came out of the womb, I have never been a zero. I was as chunky monkey as the day is long. Little Chumba-wumba. They called me the Walrus. They called me Tweetybird. They called me everything but cute-little-skinny-baby. I was rotund. Not a zero. And as I progressed I continue not to be a zero. I became a thin and wiry kid.


For as long as I can remember I have never been a zero. Hey! What is that? Think about that statement.

I have never been a zero.

Is not that true for all of us!? Not a single one of us is a zero. We all have content. We all have magnitude. We all have substance. We cannot be zeros. Granted…. we ARE little specks on the face of the universe. But we are not zeros! Even if we were composed of nothing but the digital, we would be a series of zeros and ones.

So I propose two things to the world tonight. The first is that we do away with the dress size 0. It serves no purpose really. You have to be at least .5 or something like that. But no zeros. Let’s just upscale everything and it will be better overall, I promise.   Bigger is better,  I suppose.

The next thing is…. we all have to remember that there is  NOT a one of us …. who does not have substance.  Everybody.

We all have being. We are all here right now living in this very moment. We’re not here yesterday, or tomorrow. We’re always being….  just here…. right now.

It’s the only time we have. Right now.  And.  We have magnitude.  We have being.  We ARE.

As I go through my day I am going to try to remember that in each moment I just have this moment and who I am. Everything occurs in this moment. It doesn’t happen in an hour from now, or two hours past. It’s all happening right now. And it will continue to happen just right now.  With my being.

It’s kind of paradoxical in the most complex way… …. but at the same time…  it is the very simple mind blowing truth. You only have ONE moment in all your life. And that’s the moment that you’re in right now. Nothing happens any where else, but in this moment.  Your substance, your being. No zeros.

Just be.


Don’t try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough.  — Arthur Freed