Birthdays are a funny thing.
We spill out of our mothers. All of a sudden. But we knew it was coming. We all decided when we would come out. Well, most of us made that decision on our own.
I know for me, personally, I was tired of the muffle. I couldn’t really hear or see anything but muffled voices, and the very dark insides of my Mom. Don’t get me wrong. It was warm and cozy and all. And I was grateful for the ride. But, truthfully, I was ready to start seeing things for myself. As they say, curiosity killed the cat.
So out I came. The day I picked was April 29. I wanted an odd number for a birth date. In fact, I took it a step further. I wanted a Prime Number. So, that was it. Twenty-nine. Period. But the prevailing reason still stands. I just wanted to get a better look at things.
Since that day, 54 years ago, I have been looking around. Here is what I’ve decided, up to this point. It is not as crystal clear as I had hoped it would be. You see, when I was in the womb, I thought that once I emerged, or ejected, (depending on how you look at it), things would be self-evident.
I’d put my little ear up to the wall while I was in, and I’d listen very hard. Every now and again, I would pick up a word or two. “So exciting.” “Seven?” “..bet you are ready!” “Precious.” “Gift.” And on.
It all sounded so positive, and good.
Of course, I don’t remember much about the whole orientation period. There was a boatload of stuff to absorb. But by the time I was three or so, I started taking notes. And, I’ve been jotting things down ever since.
Here we are, all of us, out of our designated wombs. Some of us are looking around. All the time. And then, well, it seems that others much prefer to stay in that dark, unmoving place. That’s a big thing I’ve detected. Most certainly, there is far too much that I’ve observed to go over right now. There’s been a lot.
One point of interest, however:
I’m told there is no one else like me on the whole big entire planet. Not now. And not ever before, or ever to come. I am the one and only Polly Kronenberger. That’s a bit terrifying. I mean, at this juncture, I’m not sure I’m getting things quite right.
But, I’ve also learned that is true of all of us. You are the only you, in the entirety of the incredible infinity, of this Universe, throughout all of time. You. And me. All of us the same in that. And then, all of us so different.
Nonetheless. Today was my birthday. And. I will, cry, if I want to.
Truth be told, I already have.
“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
― May Sarton
“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”
― Marie Curie