Sprinkles, Be Gone.


I certainly have mentioned “change” here before.

And. That’s highly unlikely to change in the future. Given our current place in the grand scheme of space and time. I’ve also mentioned that I go, kicking and screaming into change. My heels, leaving two distinct troughs in the loose dirt, as I am drug into change. If France had a Resistance, I can assure you, the magnitude of the Polly Resistance is larger.

But as we all know, change surrounds us. In encroaches. It circles us like the wagons. Or the vultures.

Sometimes, though, we all know it is for crap.

Like last week. Dunkin’ Donuts announced they were dropping the Donuts. Seriously? They are just Dunkin’ now? Like Sandy Duncan without the Sandy? Like, Michael Jordan Dunking, without the Michael Jordan?

I mean, what gives Dunkin’? The Donut part of you — is your Chi. It is your Life Force. It is the Sprinkles on your Chocolate Frosting. And you gave way. You buckled. You sold your soul. You lost your Mojo.

I will tell you exactly what happened. One day, at the Dunkin’ Donuts headquarters in Canton, Massachusetts, all the big whigs were gathered for a meeting. (Sidebar: This was their first mistake. Gathering for a meeting. It has been my experience over the years, that meetings are just an excuse for extroverted employees to get together and chat. Ninety-five percent of meetings could be diverted to a three-sentence email.) Regardless, we go back to the Big Dunkin’ Donut Meeting now. There were 12 suits (10 of them dark gray), sitting around the corporate conference table. There was also, of course, a large array of various donuts, for their snacking pleasure. Anyway. The meeting convened.

Apparently, the stocks of Dunkin’ Donuts have been on the rise for the past couple of years. For some reason, this alarmed the powers that be. (Again, please refer to my note on meetings.) So they called in an executive team from advertising. “How can we change things?,” they asked. That exec-ad-team was mostly Millennials, all polished and styled. White-toothed, and slicked hair. That team had a bunch of neat graphs, and charts. Powerpoint presentations. And by the end of the 2-hour extrovert party, the Big Execs had been convinced: Drop the Donuts, or Die.

So. They dropped the Donuts.

And the rest of the unhappy world is left with Dunkin.

IHOP switched to IHOB.

What the hell. IHOB. It sounds like I hurt my knee, and now I have a limp.

All I can say is this. Today, remember what makes you, you.
Don’t let anyone drop your Donuts. Or your Pancakes.

Keep that very sweet part of yourself intact.
It is your trademark. Your goodness. Your very wonderful you.

And that is one thing that should never change.


“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”
― William James


“A bend in the road is not the end of the road…Unless you fail to make the turn.”
― Helen Keller


“Do I dare Disturb the universe?”
― T. S. Eliot, The Wasteland, Prufrock and Other Poems