If you missed Kid Wednesday yesterday, so did I. As they say, I was a bit under the weather and slept for 20 solid hours. Wakey. Wakey. I’m starting to come around and so is my head and body.
So back to the swing of things.
Over the weekend was Stan Laurel’s birthday. Reading his life “synopsis” made me wonder how many times the most married person, married. You see, that funny man Laurel was married five times. As they say, you can find anything on the Internet. So I looked it up.
For women, it turns out, it is an American grandmother. Her name is Linda Wolfe, and she has walked down the aisle 23 times. Rumor has it, she is now “on the lookout for number 24”.
She is in the Guinness Book of World Records for this big deal. I wouldn’t call it an honor, or an accomplishment, by any means. But, that is how the various magazine articles tag it.
I’m not sure what to say. My initial reaction is that she can’t get it right. That she is doing it wrong. After all, we humans say, “Til death do us part,” when we tie the knot. But who is to say? Maybe we aren’t supposed to be with just one person.
Yet for Ms. Linda Wolfe, she claims she is simply “addicted to the romance” of getting married.
In case you are wondering her real name, she was born Linda Lou Taylor. Her first wedding came in 1957. She was 16. Married a 31-year-old fella called George Scott. When she married George, it looked like she knew how to stay wed. They were together seven years, and she has said that was her happiest marriage. Since then things have gone a little downhill.
Some of the grooms? Well, there has been a one-eyed convict, a preacher, barmen, plumbers and musicians. Two turned out to be homosexual. Where is your Gay-dar Linda? One guy put a padlock on her fridge. The shortest marriage was 36 hours because “the love wasn’t there”.
She married one guy, Jack Gourley, three times. And she’s had seven kids of her own. With different fathers.
Here is the kicker. Her last marriage was a publicity stunt. She went to the altar with a man named Glynn Wolfe. When he “took” Linda as his bride, it meant he was the world’s most married man, at 29 times. And then Glynn died a year later aged 88. Possibly, too much excitement.
Stars seem to wed a lot. I know Elizabeth Taylor married a bunch of people. Like eight. And then there was Zsa Zsa Gábor with nine marriages. Larry King is another. He’s been to the altar eight times. Mickey Rooney too. Gloria Vanderbilt, who just passed away, married five times.
Personally, I’ve never been married by license. Being gay, we weren’t really “allowed” to get married until recently. In fact, for years we had to keep our lives very quiet, for fear we would be pummeled by some hater. On occasion, that still goes on, you see. And now that Gay Marriage is “legal” it can get ripped away at any time by people standing on their Bibles thinking that God is giving them the power to judge others. Especially now that we have a several of those religiously influenced conservatives sitting on the Supreme Court.
All that aside, I’ve only declared my “Life Intentions” once. And that was 30 years ago. So far, we’ve managed to stay together, Mary and I. She is my soulmate. My life’s greatest blessing. At the beginning and end of every day, I thank the heaven’s for her.
And back to Linda Taylor, the Super Bride? Well, she is 78 years old these days. I wonder if she could find happiness in changing it all back to her Maiden name, and hanging up the garters for good.
But that is what makes this world so completely dynamic and sundry. It is filled with 7.53 billion individual humans. Each one, trying to find their own happiness. Their heart’s love. Whatever that may be.
“I am what I am Are you what you are or What?”
― Alanis Morissette
“Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference.”
― Jane Goodall
“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.”
― Shannon L. Alder