It might jump up and bite you in the…

There are some really amazing creatures on this earth. Sometimes, though, the thing that makes them amazing is not necessarily good for everyone involved.

In fact, they can be deadly. As in, poison deadly.

The most poisonous amphibian on the planet is a little yellow beast called the Golden Dart Frog. Lucky for me, it lives down in the Southern part of the world. It is found only in the truly dense rain forests of western Colombia. That little guy secretes enough poison from its skin to kill 10 to 20 humans. Yes. A whole big bunch of us. But here is the thing. The golden dart frog generates its poison from its diet. It hangs out eating indigenous ants and beetles all day. So those frogs that are raised in captivity, and fed other things, like fruit flies and common insects are completely harmless. No poison.

Which makes a heck of a case for “You are what you eat.”

There are all sorts of poisonous things on this planet. I could run through a list of them. Like, the most poisonous spider lives in Brazil. It is called the Brazilian wandering spider. They say it rarely attacks humans. Probably because no one is around in their habitats. But on occasion it has taken a bite. I don’t know what happens to women, but human males bitten by Brazilian wandering spiders often experience painful erections.

That’s a hard one to take.

This next one was news to me. The Platypus. Now. I like a Platypus. I feel sorry for them. I think when God was creating heaven and earth, he and Gabriel were having a few cold ones after a long day of creation, and God decided to have a little laugh. And he whipped up a big bowl of Platypus. Even the name, is a joke. But putting a bill on a mammal, and webbed feet? There ought to be rules. Anyway, this morning, I found out they are poisonous. Only the males. They have these little poison-laden spurs that they use to battle each other during mating season. Very occasionally, male platypus attacks can be fatal to small animals, but not humans. Even still, they say it really hurts.

Let’s say you get stung by a platypus. And you say,
“Hey! That’s gonna’ cost you!”
And the platypus says,
“Yeah? Well, just put it on my bill.”

It’s a jungle out there.
Tread lightly.


“If trouble comes when you least expect it then maybe the thing to do is to always expect it.”
― Cormac McCarthy, The Road


“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.”
― Benjamin Franklin


“Well which is it?”
— Polly Kronenberger