It is a fuller brush

I got a new toothbrush. Before I go any further with this, let me clarify some background details.

I’m a little fussy about my teeth. I got braces about 13 years ago. Braces require that an individual pay special attention to their mouths. Otherwise, the contents of said mouth, can become terribly unruly. When the braces came off, I continued with my stringent brushing and flossing routines. I wear my retainers, still, every night. I see the dentist twice a year for cleanings and checkups. I change my toothbrush far more frequently than the ADA recommends. My teeth do little cardio workouts and yoga.

As you can see by all this “too much information” — I’m a little obsessive.

Anyway, I’ve been toying with the idea of getting one of those fancy-smancy electric toothbrushes. For a while now. After reading a stack of reviews, I decided to go with the Sonic Care.

I’ve used it the past two days.

I’m an idiot.

What I’ve learned, so far, is that if I plan on going anywhere, I cannot have on the same clothing as when I brush my teeth. The first night I gave that thing a drive, the bathroom looked like it had been power-sprayed by the Crest Monster.

There was toothpaste everywhere. On the mirrors, the countertops, the floor. In my HAIR. And all down the front of me. Apparently, I was doing it wrong.

Since then, I’ve had several bouts with the thing. And I am calling them bouts at this point. It feels like a bit of a match between myself and Sonic Beast. I walk into the bathroom, and there he is, propped up on his little charger, with a smug look on his brush head. Last night, I looked right at him and said, “Wipe that grin off your bristle-mister, or I’ll wipe it off for you.”

I laughed, evilly, as I spread toothpaste all over his face. But, after our three-minute match, I walked away the clear loser. Somehow, I managed to have major drips on my chin, my cheek, and on the knee of my Jammy Pants.

In its defense, I love the way it feels on my teeth. When I get done brushing, or whatever it is you call it, my pearly whites seem pearly-er. Albeit, it scares both the dogs. Normally, they like to hang with me in the bathroom. When I start brushing my teeth, they run out and hide in the closet.

Anyway. I think I may have to start brushing my teeth completely nakers. That will really scare the hell out of the dogs.

I haven’t completely made up my mind on this thing. I spent a good little bit of money on the new-fangled. So, I will continue to learn to fangle as best as I can. If it doesn’t work out, I bet I can find another use for it.

And my old brush is still in its cup on the counter. No hard hat, or umbrella, required.


“…it will be a world made not bright but brighter, not clean but cleaner.”
― Dean Koontz, Dead and Alive


“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” – Thich Nhat Hanh


“Smiling doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy. Sometimes it just means you are strong.” — Unknown