It came and went. Just like that. But now we have the residuals.
The cruel and unforgiving Daylight Savings Time.
They sneak it in, on early Sunday mornings. I have a theory on this. Because they ARE, robbing us, after all. They are stealing one hour from us. Like the Grinch. Slipping in after everyone is asleep, and pulling the candy canes from the stockings.
But they schedule this AFTER Saturday nights. This is to fool the young, because they think the elderly just won’t notice. For the younger people in the world, a Saturday night is a time of cavorting, partying, kicking up one’s heels. And then, after all the alcohol-imbibed incidents, while all those people are sleeping in a deep, dark fog, they pull the hour. They snatch it. Hoping that most people will not notice. They wake up, feeling around for the bottle of Tylenol, muttering, “Where in the world did the time go?”
But there are those of us who maintain our coherency. We notice. Oh yes we do. Yet, even with our clear and lucid minds, the next day is a mess. People stumble around, mumbling, “Yes, but now it would really be two o’clock.” And then the other says, “No, it is three o’clock. We already moved that forward. Or wait, is it one o’clock?”
And the dialogue continues that way for a full 24 hours.
In every household, it seems, there is the “Time-Changer.” At least in all the houses I’ve lived in. The person who is silently given the task of changing all the clocks. They are the one’s who hold the hands, and gently move them forward. For some reason, in all my places of living, I have always been the “Time-Changer.” Much like the Gate-Keeper and the Key-Master in Ghostbusters. But. I do not take my responsibility lightly. If it weren’t for the consistency of the Time-Changers, half the world would be lost in time lost.
I don’t know who “They” are by the way. I think it is a group, a secret group, much like the Knights Templar. But they are conspiring. Plotting. Manipulating our time.
There is mystery surrounding its origins. There is no clear and definitive source for the history of Daylight Savings. Do any kind of reading on the subject, and soon you will find multiple stories claiming its genesis. Some even say it is Benjamin Franklin who was responsible, when he wrote a paper suggesting that if Parisians woke up later, they would burn fewer candles. Of course, anyone who knew Franklin understood he was joking. On the other hand, he was a Freemason. The Knights of Templar kind-of-Freemason.
I believe the same group came up with confounded story of Columbus Day. Another grand illusion.
Nonetheless, here we are, and we are stuck with it. Like Lemmings, we jump from the cliff, throwing off our life preservers as we thrust ourselves over the edge. Losing our hours on the way down. Congress officially made the time change a law under the Uniform Time Act of 1966. And we are left empty-handed, missing those 3600 seconds. Only another act of Congress can change it.
If you are ticked (and not tock-ed) about this, you are not alone. But apparently, enough people are celebrating. Because time only flies, when you are having fun.
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“How did it get so late so soon?”
― Dr. Seuss
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“Time is an illusion.”
― Albert Einstein
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A Clock is not time; it’s numbers and springs. Pay it no mind. — Peter S Beagle
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