End of a year.

I am writing this in the early morning. As opposed to last night, before sleep. As we approach another new year, how is any of it different, really? Always a big celebration, this new year business. But for most of us, we chime right along. “Out with the old, in with the new.” Is it really? Or is it more of the same, I wonder?

I don’t mean to be downtrodden. I just wonder why, year after year, we fuel this concept. Yet. It all continues as it has in the past.

Then. Do we ask ourselves what we really want of this new year? Does it fall to material things, or the things of the body? Perhaps, I want a new car. I want a new house. I want to lose 10 pounds. I want to go to New Zealand. A raise. A promotion. Or whatever we wish in the new dates that approach.

Or do we wish for things of the soul? What is it that you want, Soul?

For me. My life. I cannot think of one thing I want or need. That is how truly blessed my life has been. I have been given much.

So, yes, for me, it falls to things of the soul. But I don’t want them just because it is the new year. I want them every day. When I wake, these are the things I long to know.

I want happiness and joy and peace. I want to understand. I want to know that there is truly the magic in the Universe. That all things are connected. That deep down, there is much more after this human life. That in the greatness of it all, that we are connected.

We are connected, I think. So many people of note have considered this. The things of the great philosophers. They have spoken to this. That, somehow we are all connected and one. I sometimes do not fare very well, when it comes to this concept. Truthfully, I have some trouble being around people. Not all, but many. Introvert, me.   I am most at peace when I am by myself, it seems. In that place, there is no conflict, or worries, or expectations to encounter. It is simply me.  But that is where the connection is lost.  That, I can see.

I think for the most part, I am a kind and loving person. And certainly, I do not wish harm to anyone. However, there a people in this world who I would rather not spend time with.  Dang it. I have a hard time, with a certain few.

So what is it that my soul really wants? To let these things go, I guess. To be at peace with them. To understand that it does not have to be this way or that. I can leave them alone, and not pursue a connection. I can find other places in my life, with other people, which bring goodness and joy.

It seems that in life, our assumptions about our current circumstances are often disrupted. Everything is changing constantly. So we get a hold of ourselves, and find our way back to peace. That we are all here. Others are not so different from us. We should cultivate peace, and love, rather than thoughts which bring worry, or anger.

My soul should want for an ability to be more accepting of things as they occur, because it is all happening exactly as it should.

What is it that you want, in your world, in your life.

In this new year.




“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” ― Michael Cunningham, The Hours