Way up and good

bibibiland radiiiiisooooo rooofffytop

We all have fears.  Some of us more than others.

And, believe it or not, our fears can change with time.  Sometimes they get worse, and on other occasions, they disappear completely.

When we were children, we had fears of monsters, and the dark, and the ghosts on Scooby Doo.  Now…. not so much.

But as adults, we develop a  whole new set of worries, frights and angst.

Tonight, we had a whopper of a storm roll through.  I used to be deathly afraid of storms, especially the ones with tornado warnings attached.  But this evening, (and lately), those storms don’t cripple me like they used to years ago.

The dogs are a different story.  I think I’m sending two of them to a therapist about their fear of thunder.

Any way, the high winds knocked out our internet.  Apparently, after chatting with our service provider, our antenna was blown out of alignment.  Well.  That won’t do.  And I figured our chances of a service call were slim to none until Monday.

So up on the roof I went.   (We get our internet through a radio signal.  Its connection depends on line of sight. Hence the antenna.  It is at the highest high point of our roof, the third floor highest tier.)  A bit of a climb.

As I went about my work in trying to loosen the antenna, and readjust it…I was completely engaged in what I was doing.  It wasn’t easy going to make the corrections… so I took a few breaks up there tonight… and enjoyed the high-up view of the evening sky.

And then it hit me.  I was pretty high up.  Not too many years ago, I couldn’t stand on a chair without getting hobbly-wobbly over the height.  I was not able to look out windows when we stayed in hotels, climb up to high places, or even go out on balconies or high porches.

And tonight, there I was on a slick high roof, working on an antenna, without a hiccup.   No fear to be found.

So why?  I wonder.

Why do our fears come, and go, and sometimes stay?

Snake, snake, snake, snake.
Spider, spider, spider, spider.
Rat, rat, rat, rat.

I just threw those out there for some of my friends who have fears of snakes, spiders, and rats, oh my.
Snakes, spiders, and rats, oh my.

Back to it.  I wonder why our fears sometime go away, and other times…. hold so tightly?

They say “facing” your fears will help you get rid of them.  Perhaps this is right with me.  At one point, I think I said… I will just try “this” and see what happens.  And when nothing happened…. well… away went the fear.

I will sit right down next to a snake now, just to be “hanging” with it.  I didn’t used to be this way.

And this is true of me…. with many other ways.

On the other hand, I still get terribly troubled in other areas.  And anxiety will fill my every ounce.

I can only imagine that knowing what we fear, is the first step, in the direction of fearing it no more.

But I have to admit…. certain episodes of Scooby Doo still put the wobblies in me.  The big wobblies.